john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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