He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I bet he comes in French.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize