we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
