In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
