google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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