I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize