Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
