then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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