she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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