Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
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I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
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I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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