Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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