She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
