You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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