I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
