OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
People in love make me want to vomit
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
