Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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