We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
i believe in u and ur pee
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
