covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
