He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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