capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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