Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
