Sry I called you an 8
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
it's great music for shaving your balls
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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