Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
