I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
