I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
