dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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