Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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