i already hear my dad disowning me
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
