So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize