im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
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