Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
