Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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