Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
