his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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