i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Panties = found
Randomize