you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Boobs speak an international language.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
