You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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