So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
