Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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