While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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