I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
