she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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