I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
