She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
