he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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