She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
