maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
