How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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