Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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