Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
