I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
