I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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