I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
