WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
