batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
