dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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