So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
