on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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