and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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