is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
