thus making me awesome and them whores
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
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well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
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And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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